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Welcome to All Things Reformed Baptist. You want to know what's on my mind today is the danger of playing the victim. And I want to be fully transparent. For much of my life, I played the victim. It was easy to do so. I grew up without a mom. I don't know who my dad is. Grew up in foster care. Experienced all kinds of abuse that was that was uh you know directed towards me. And I played victim. And now I want to talk about the danger of doing that. And what what do we do with our pain, with our story, and how do we move forth? So let's talk about it. Let's talk about something that has quietly settled into many Christian hearts and homes. The habit of playing the victim. Now, real pain exists, real injustice happens, real wounds are inflicted by others, sometimes by people who should have protected us. Scripture never asks us to pretend otherwise. Joseph was betrayed and sowed, David was hunted, Paul was beaten and abandoned, Jesus was falsely accused and crucified. The Bible is honest about suffering, but honesty about suffering is not the same thing as making victimhood our identity. That is where the danger begins. Playing the victim is what happens when we take legitimate pain and turn it into a permanent posture. We begin to interpret every difficulty through the lens of what has what was done to us. We rehearse the offense, we protect the wound, we use it to explain our anger, our withdrawal, our lack of growth, our strained relationships, or our refusal to take responsibility and why we have unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking or pornography use. You see, over time the wound becomes a lens, then a shield, and then a home. We stop moving forward because the story of what happened to us feels safer than a hard work of healing and obedience. This posture is not biblical. It is actually a form of bondage. It keeps us locked in the past, it quietly elevates our pain above God's purposes, it often masks bitterness, self-pity, and pride. The pride of believing our suffering exempts us from the ordinary calls of Scripture to forgive, to put off the old self, and to walk in newness of life. You see, Hebrews 12, verse 15 warns that a root of bitterness can spring up and defile many. Bitterness rarely announces itself as bitterness. It often dresses itself as I'm just hurt or you don't understand what I've been through. And meanwhile, it spreads. Scripture calls us to something better. Joseph, after years of betrayal and injustice, looked at his brothers and said in Genesis chapter 50, 20, You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. He did not deny the evil, he refused to let the evil have the final word. Paul, who suffered far more than most of us ever will, wrote in Philippians chapter 3, verse 13 through 14, One thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal. You see, he has scars. He did not make make the scars his identity, though. Peter points us to Christ himself. In 1 Peter chapter 2, verse 23, he says, When I was when when he was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued in trusting himself to him who judges justly. Jesus absorbed real injustice without becoming a victim in spirit. So so what do we what do we have to do then? Well first thing is you got to tell the truth about the pain. Name it, bring it into the light with trusted, mature believers, do not minimize genuine wrong, but then refuse to let the pain become your name. You are not the betrayed one or the wounded one as your primary identity. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation. Just look at 2 Corinthians 5, verse 17. You are forgiven, adopted, and dwelt by the Spirit and called to walk in freedom. I would say another thing is actively put off bitterness and put on forgiveness and responsibility. Ephesians chapter 4, verse 31 through 32 is clear. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Forgiveness does not mean pretending that nothing happened. It means releasing the right to keep exacting payment so that you can obey God and move forward. Another thing I would say is take responsibility for what is yours. Even if others sinned against you, you are still accountable for your own responses, your growth, your relationships, and your obedience today. No one owes you anything today. Galatians chapter 6, verse 5 says, Each will bear his own load. Victim thinking quietly shifts that load unto everyone else. Biblical thinking picks it up with the strength that Christ Jesus supplies. The longer that we play the victim, the more the chains tighten. We become reactive rather than faithful. We demand that others manage our emotions. We resist correction. We stand, we we we we we stall spiritually. But the gospel offers a better way. Christ entered our suffering, bore our sin, and rose again so that we would not remain defined by what has been done to us. He calls us to rise, to forgive, to walk, and to press on. Acknowledge the womb, then by God's grace, refuse to live inside it. Bring it to the cross, leave it there, and move forward as a child of God who has been given a new story, one written by the one who redeems what others meant for evil. That is not denial. That is true freedom in Jesus Christ. That is it for today. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode.